Maybe you’ve heard of the book The First 40 Days. It is popular in the pregnancy world right now, for good reason!
"The first 40 days after the birth of a child offer an essential and fleeting period of rest and recovery for the new mother. As modern mothers are pushed to prematurely “bounce back” after delivering their babies and are often left alone to face the physical and emotional challenges of this new stage of their lives, The First Forty Days provides a lifeline—a source of connection, nourishment, and guidance."
The book talks about the tradition of spending the first 40 days postpartum resting and nourishing oneself after one of the biggest changes in life one can ever go through. The journey from maiden to mother is overwhelming, beautiful, and a massive shift in any woman’s life. There is truly no bigger change than from caring for only oneself to having someone dependent on you 100% of the time.
I had many conversations with people around me about the boundaries I had after giving birth. Even during pregnancy, I had boundaries like not wanting people to touch my belly or constantly text for updates while I was in labor. I’m surrounded by people who haven’t really had boundaries or ever said “no”, so I knew this conversation was going to be very important to emphasize and explain to the best of my abilities. Despite that, my husband asked if we would travel 30 minutes at two weeks postpartum to see his family, and I had to assert myself again with an “absolutely not.” I was bleeding, trying to establish breastfeeding, in a lot of pain, and not cleared to drive until at least four weeks. You can set boundaries, but they often need to be repeated.
Mothers tend to not listen to their intuition and do things they don’t want to, especially in this vulnerable time, to make other people happy. They often come to regret it, or they learn for the first time in their lives to put themselves first. This can be a very uncomfortable process, and it is also part of the initiation into motherhood.
How do you focus on your own healing during this sacred time?
Sitz Baths: I took lots of baths with healing herbs like witch hazel, comfrey, and yarrow. These herbs help close up wounds and speed up healing. Baths are also relaxing and warming, which aids blood circulation and healing.
Nourishing Teas and Hydration: I drank tons of nourishing teas meant for postpartum, purchased from my local herbal store, along with plenty of water, electrolytes, and supplements. Each pregnancy is said to take 10% of a mother’s mineral stores, so I used trace minerals in my water and drank coconut water.
Diet and Breastfeeding: I did not restrict calories and ate whenever I was hungry, often in the middle of the night. During nighttime feeds, I would have a glass of electrolytes, a banana, and a protein bar.
Meal Preparation: Ahead of time, I prepared and froze a lot of meals. We didn’t have to cook for almost 6 weeks because I made so much food. Knowing the food we were getting was high-quality and homemade rather than takeout or fast food was amazing. I prepped lasagna, stew, energy balls, muffins, cookies, broth, etc.
Lymphatic Drainage: I focused on lymphatic drainage by using a lymphatic brush every time I had a bath or shower. I did this after the bath or shower because the hot water increases circulation, and the lymphatic drainage brush helps expel more toxins from the body. I wanted to get rid of the pain-relieving drugs I took during labor as quickly as possible.
Easy-to-Digest Foods: I focused on foods with lots of bone broth, soup, and stews because the body doesn’t have extra energy to digest things like salads, smoothies, and cold foods. Soups and stews are already broken down, making them easier to digest.
Pelvic Floor Therapy: I worked with a pelvic floor therapist throughout my pregnancy. From week one postpartum, she sent me exercises to help restore my pelvic floor’s strength and integrity. These were not hardcore exercises (as you are usually not cleared to work out until six weeks postpartum), but easy stretches and breathing exercises to engage the core.
Overall, the first 40 days are very important. Many people say that not resting and taking care of yourself during this time can lead to diseases and illnesses later in life.
When you have your baby shower, emphasize that your baby doesn’t need more clothes and that you prefer to be gifted with things for postpartum care. If the mom is happy and healthy, the baby is too. The baby just needs diapers and their mom’s boobs. Babies don’t need all these fancy devices.
What do you think about the first forty days?
How would you prioritize rest during this period?
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